This week, a Japanese chef made the news for taking apart a Big Mac and transforming it into a sushi roll. While I’ll admit the finished result was somewhat visually impressive, I couldn’t get past the fact that at the end of the day, it was still a Big Mac.
But then again, I probably am a little more biased against McDonalds than the average person. You see, my first job was as at McDonalds. When I reached that magical age of 14 and 9 months (the minimum legal age to work where I lived), my mother shoved me into the local McDonalds store, fresh resume in hand, to apply to join the teenage part-time ranks serving Big Macs and fries and otherwise contributing to the unhealthy state of this nation.
All too soon, I became one of those pesky McDonalds workers that everyone likes to make fun of – the quintessential ‘would you like fries with that?’ Maccas worker. This question was rarely received well.
‘Did I ask for fries with that?’ was the usual snarled reply.
Being of a shy and reserved nature at the age of 14 and 9 months, I found these common reactions a tad unsettling and very soon stopped asking. Which thankfully resulted in less edgy and annoyed customers. The flipside however was that in next to no time, I had an edgy and annoyed manager to contend with who issued swift instructions to resume the sales pitch.
So there I was, once again tagging the fries question to the end of each order. And now, not only did I have the return of the cranky customers, but a manager standing behind me, glaring holes into the back of my skull to make sure I didn’t forget to ask this pertinent question.
As a result, my favourite days at McDonalds were when I got sent to the storeroom to fold the cardboard ice-cream trays. Those days – few and far between – were pure bliss.
Whether it was the trauma of having to ask every customer if they wanted ‘fries with that’ or the sheer disgusting taste of McDonalds food itself – or both – to this day I cannot walk into a McDonalds store without my stomach curdling. Which is probably just as well. Eating McDonalds was never good for anyone. Especially if that six-year-old McDonalds burger on display in a museum in Iceland is any indication.
Perhaps the man who originally purchased that burger should have rolled it up sushi style instead. At least that might’ve been something to look at.